 |
"jodi"WATCH MEDavid and I met in 1985, at a bar called the Temple Tavern in Akron, Ohio. I was newly separated, not yet divorced, and looking desperately to fulfill my desire to be in love again, I wanted to ache for someone, I wanted to have sex that would ring through my being for days… and in doing so become complete. It was winter, the last week of February, an all out blizzard that night. We talked briefly, and I invited him to come home with me. He said ok, but he had come with some other people. He to give them a ride home first... No problem... I went home, and perched myself in the window so that I could see him, and he would have no trouble finding me when he finally appeared thru the snow. He never showed, never called... Finally, I went to bed alone.  The following Monday I went to the Temple, as it was pitcher night - your favorite mixed drink served in a pitcher for only $5.00 - and happened upon his friend, Bob, who I recognized. I asked him where Dave was. As convenience would have it, he was at Bob’s house, so he gave me the number. I called and went to get David. To make a long story short, he came home with me this time, and proceeded to show me what was missing in my life. The most blatant display of human animal affection I had ever experienced. I was bitten. I was hooked. I was in love. Two days later I came home from work to find out he had moved his stuff in while I was at work. We were one. David and me, two lost souls no longer lost, joined by need and desire and not much else, but we proclaimed our love for each other and finally, I felt as if I could be complete... So it began, and our fiery relationship lasted thru numerous moves to Florida, jail sentences, violent arguments, separations, infidelities, massive drugs and alcohol… highs and lows as I had never experienced. chaos and desperation that only drew me closer to him, to my need to make it all ok, take care of him, help him, make him love me in the same insane, obsessive, all encompassing way, I loved him. I only ever wanted us to be together, exclusively, to love each other, to be a forever couple, or ”go down in a blaze of glory" - as Sid Vicious of the Sex pistols so aptly put it - David and me, to eternity... And thru it all the sex was life-giving. He could right any wrong, be forgiven any indiscretion. There was no bump or bruise or emotional hurt that he couldn’t fix by laying me down and mending my torn soul with his magic wand. No desperation he couldn’t kiss away. He was my knight in shining armor... Until the next time. I never spoke to him again... After what seemed like forever together - it really only amounted to a little over six years - I finally gathered the courage one early morning to stop... to tell David he couldn’t come home.He had left me a few days before, taking all of his worldly possessions, his clothes and his stereo, and now at daybreak he had appeared in a friend’s car that he had decided to use without permission, after having sex with the same friend’s wife, and, well, just generally screwing up the people he chose to leave me for this time. Somehow, in some way, from deep inside me I know not where, I was strong enough to let him go, and to go on without him. For once I didn’t chase him down and bring him home, and start the vicious cycle all over again. Instead we parted with me telling him, "You can’t go thru life being nothing but a good fuck." And he replied, knowingly, with that little tilt of his head, and his ever sexy smile, "Watch me." I saw him one more time, taking out the trash at some unfamiliar house in downtown Fort Lauderdale, in those turquoise shorts he only ever wore if there was no clean laundry and every other thing he owned had been worn more than the reasonable amount of times. I didn’t stop, I never spoke to him again. I moved - no forwarding address... Last Friday, while paging thru the Akron Beacon Journal, I came across his grandfather’s obituary. And as I read the notice, I saw the words, “Preceded in death by his grandson, David A. Gardon..." He had died January 17 2004, one month shy of his 38th birthday. I was numb... I still am... my David, my love, my obsession.... is gone. It was ok not to be with him; it was ok not to know what he was doing, or how he was, as to know would have been too dangerous, too painful. I had many times searched the Internet for information about him, checked the jails, thought about calling his grandparents, just to make sure he was ok... but I never did. I couldn’t resist him then, and it was possible, if the situation presented itself, I couldn’t resist him even now. I found out this week he died of an Oxycontin overdose, he and the girl he was with...found dead, together...and as shameless and perverted as it might sound... it should have been me... Me and David forever... gone out in the blaze of drug fueled glory we so often proclaimed would be ours, forever together... I will always love you, my David... no matter what... "jodi"'s last contribution to Un-Made-Up was A Piece Of My Story. Her autobiographical blog is why paisley???. The painting is by Julian Allen. When I started working for Details magazine in 1991, the Julian Allen and the great writer Bruce Wagner were publishing the comic strip Wild Palms in the magazine. At the time, it marked the magazine out as something totally different. Julian Allen died in 1998. 8:02 AM - 12/4/2007 - post comment
|
A growing collection of narrative non-fiction miniatures  £8.99 incl. p&p (UK only) Outside the UK email UnMadeUp for details. Home Unmadeup Editions Un-MADE-Up story archive RSS 
Palimpsest Maud Newton Ready Steady Book Chuck Palahniuk Studs Terkel Litro Brighton Writers Alan Emmins Skint Writer Grumpy Old Bookman John Baker's Blog The Monkey Puzzle Short Term Memory Loss Alasdair Gray Brevity: A journal of creative non-fiction Blogzira A Spinster's Quest A Beautiful Revolution John Barlow Guyana little.red.boat Crack Skull Bob Atlantic Terrace A Case of Brain Fever Ted Conover Asylum 217 Babel In Other News ducts.org 
Recent Entries - Nik Perring - William Shaw - Emma J. Lannie - William Shaw - Nik Perring Public Service Announcement: Un-Made-Up becomes giddy with excitement at the prospect of publishing short, beautifully wrought pieces of non-fiction writing. Submissions may be edited but will only be published with the final approval of the author. For local colour - or color - local spellings are retained when appropriate. All copyright belongs to the authors, illustrators and photographers. COMING SOON • A story of teenage love and coffee • 41 Places • The one-legged man on the beach • |
|